Spring is returning – despite myself…

I am thankful to have written this blog. Last night i re-read my first five entries and I was reassured that I am on the right track. My mind has a habit of forgetting hard stuff and I like to fantasise that things were different …

Trust is a work in progress

——-first i had rats in the ceiling – now i have a cat in the ceiling and she wont come down – every time she peers down the manhole crying at me – i climb up and try to coax her down but she runs …

“How can we know the dancer from the dance?”

Today i planted a tree, a little sapling wattle that i’ve grown from a seed collected at Lawson town pool.  I planted the tree on my brother’s grave, in a lawn cemetery, surreptitiously, with my trowel, and some tent pegs and string to create a …

Not Plain Sailing

ok so im pressing the whinge button to ‘on’ – cos ive been harbouring some fairly petty resentments today… these feelings came on because i felt very busy and i had a lot to do and i didnt want to do  them: no – i just wanted to sit …

“Life wasn’t meant to be easy my child, but take courage: it can be delightful.” Malcolm Fraser RIP

Living the everyday is bloody hard. I just lost it with my four year old – I yelled and frightened him into submission; he had been angry the whole afternoon – yelling, growling, being rude, and in the end i resorted to the same angry …

The feeling of ordinary

Each day cant be brilliant. I cant find a revelation, an inspiration every day; that would be nuts. Sitting with the feeling of ordinary is something i need to become accustomed to. Days are what they are – just days. I feel like I’m becoming …

Mothers, crashes and cravings

My chook ‘Smokes’ has finished with hatching the eggs. Only one managed to survive – her/his name is Bellisimo – the sweetest little peeper you ever saw! S/hes got white wings, a white face and black armour everywhere else – the only way i can …

Les Miserables

Little shit bombs keep exploding off around me. Perpetual conflict of the domestic kind pervades and I am at a complete loss on how to handle any of it and so my grasp on serenity is gone gone gone. Enter stage right teenage son; full …

“There’s a river somewhere that flows through the lives of everyone.” Roberta Flack

feeling low again and also feeling lost and isolated .-I think i have cut myself off from seeing friends and i dont know exactly why. I have been so focussed on not drinking and attending meetings and I just dont really have the time or …