Im still sober! It is nothing short of amazing! I have clearly had nothing to do with this achievement as my best efforts to not drink inevitably fail. I am still finding life quite unmanageable and Im not singing and dancing in rainbows of happiness. … Continue reading Getting love into the driver’s seat
This festive season – my second sober, has been pretty dull i must say. Im isolating a bit in an attempt to stay away from parties and the like. I find it hard to be friendly without the grog. Ive always struggled with friendship. Im … Continue reading Molting hen
Those moments: when the thought that I have not met up to others’ expectations, that I have failed in an obligation or that people can see that Im a bit unreliable, when I know ive done something wrong; are the moments when I feel most … Continue reading Negativity & books
One year sober! The date passed somewhat unremarkably and was followed by a terrible bout of gastroenteritis…. so im non-plussed. which is a shame cos i suppose i should be feeling proud or happy or something. But instead – im plagued by my old fears … Continue reading one year
So its kind of like this… it doesnt matter how much I drank – what matters is why I drank and what it did to my head and my heart. And I know that I have an awful lot in common with the other alkies … Continue reading Acceptance respite
Its really frustrating when i feel i didnt hit a hard ‘enough’ rock bottom. when i think i really should be seeing a shrink (but i did try that – it only made me drink more) , when i think i am just a narcissistic, … Continue reading Doing Step 1 – again.
My head is full and my heart is tied up – still working through a maze of confusing feelings and emotions, seemingly for the first time, without my anaesthetic of a tall cold enormous glass of wine. For the first time last week I had … Continue reading Dont throw the baby out with the bath water.